Admittedly, I am, by nature, an introvert. One of the worst!
When taking different versions of personality tests, and related quizzes or
exams I typically rate in the 70-90% or higher depending on the test writer's
bent or specific questions asked on a certain day (not going into details about
that, kinda boring really, it's all related to psychology and testing blah blah
blah).
One of the things that has started to amuse me more and more
is that we have lost the art of the snub. That quixotic and unparalleled moment
when someone realizes that they have are no longer in the good graces of
another person. I don't mean a couple having a fight, or seeing an ex with
someone else, that would be a whole different series of topics, for which we
have bookstores and libraries (I'd suggest you peruse those more often) to
potentially resolve those issues. No, what I'm talking about is the moment when
walking past another person, say a coworker, who had, up until very recently
been someone whom you respected and possibly even admired. Maybe it was someone
who wasn't that, but has repeatedly made the mistake of supplanting God as a
point of glory upon whom all authority and generosity shall be bestowed. Or
they could be the person who used the spray gun on their house after a severe
night partaking of illicit substances, and the result could be better seen from
the moon, or perhaps Jupiter (Uranus being too far, and Pluto being too small).
These people! The one's you cannot avoid seeing on a daily basis, or pass by at
work, or see in the store! What do we normally do now? We pull out our phone.
The little radio tower keepsake in pockets, which holds our brains and social
activity, causing a loss of personal interaction. I should know! I do it
without thinking.
Personal Anecdote Time! I for one have a particularly
memorable time where a truly good snub should have been used. Instead, I
reflexively took out my cell phone, and stared at its blank screen. It could
not have been a more beautiful time to walk by this person in such a regal
manner: head held high, nose in the air, quietly letting them know that their
presence in my life was absolutely worth less than the onrushing air cramming its
way into my upturned nostrils! You see, I had a manager who did believe that
universes (I use plural because I don't think that our present one is big
enough for his ego) revolved around him, and that any decision or proclamation
made by him was immediately law. At no time was this true, but he seemed to
believe that, so those of us who were part of his employ "allowed"
this to continue until things would become absurd, and the only responses he received
were snarky, sarcastic, or (amusingly) straight cussing as some form of
response. I ended up getting a better job elsewhere within the company, but
always knew that I would eventually run across this individual at a meeting or
in a hallway. In fact, that did happen. Walking rather briskly to a meeting one
morning, I saw him coming the other way, sauntering away down the hall. (I
believe that he'd reduced his universe count to two or three just to be safe,
since it is hard to maintain so many of those) What did I do? I pulled out my
cell phone just before I passed him. Why? Because, that would mean that I
wouldn't have to look at him to see if he recognized me. In retrospect, I
should have kept that pocketbrain in my back pocket, put my nose in the air,
and forcefully parted the onrushing currents and drafts with my prodigious
proboscis. Whether or not it would have been recognized would not have
mattered! To know that, for all intents and purposes, he had been effectively
snubbed would have been absolutely worth all efforts to effect that air.
How have we lost this? This beautiful artifact of a past
culture? A universal (at least in western culture) communicator of your
particular fall from grace? It isn't just the cell phone, that purveyor of
information and electronic socialization! ("Social" you fools, not
the form of government that reduces all things to grey ash and waste, but
social interaction!)(Sort of) It is an inherent need to AVOID. To avoid eye
contact, confrontation with someone undesirable, to be effectively
"lost" from another's sight. In all reality, they'll probably ignore
you just as much as you would love to be ignored by them. Although, I will say
that there are a few of those people in the world who either don't understand that
they have been effectively cut off from interaction with you, or are just that
oblivious that they cannot take a hint even when specifically informed to leave
another person alone. Up until the 1990's, a personal snub would have been seen
as much, now however, they'll wonder if you have had some sort of neck surgery.
Or, possibly your really enjoy looking at the ceiling as a personal pastime.
They might also correctly assume that you've had some sort of spasm and can't
effectively crank your head down to a normal eye line in order to navigate
through the world around you. Having been out of practice for quite some time,
you might incur injuries that would be quite difficult to explain to your
doctor or chiropractor.
You see, the cell phone has enabled our inherent desire to
avoid those uncomfortable moments in life. Don't begin to think that I am
stating this from some high, self-appointed pedestal! Oh no! I too have avoided
(with gusto too, I might add) confrontation with the best of them! It is an art
form for which I am adept, and it is only second to my ability to make a split
second decision to walk in a direction that is completely perpendicular to
other person's path of locomotion! We have lost this elegant form of dismissal,
where once it was a universally accepted form of "polite"
retribution, and replaced it with a mindless adherence to a small plastic box
with a battery. I'm quite certain that, in the late 1800's there was some sort
of style guide to inform those who needed practice in the form of snubbery on its
particulars, and the proper form to which one could hold themselves so as to
adequately display their apparent displeasure with the other party. Ranging
from the polite, "you might be able to regain my good relations if only
you grovel a little, and apologize" to "a dead man would have a would
have a better chance of digging himself out of your hole than you do".
Such information is no doubt lost to antiquity, but I surmise that we could
potentially revive this lost art. Friends, there is a need, and were something
has been lost, it could (by some undiscovered means) be found again and
utilized to its utmost extent.
I do understand that, at first, it would be lost on these
current generations. However, like the advent of the cell phone, it too can
make its way through society. In so doing, we could effectively rearrange this
western culture to see the snub as an effective tool for communication. Also,
it would require the disposal of our predisposition and proclivity to reach
down to our pockets to avoid eye contact, but to encourage the effective
snubbery, even though it would mean watching for our own social dismissal.
Indeed, it may even help certain portions of society (and the pocketbooks of
doctors and chiropractors). This would probably need to be studied though. If
snubbing is used too much, we may end up at a critical mass where everyone is
permanently snubbed by everyone else so that we are permanently disassociated
from other's (except those who have had the unfortunate experience of digging
their own social chasm) attentions.
In summation: look up, and snub away! But, snub carefully my
friends! We don't want to endanger society, just make it a little more socially
ambitious and give a richness that has been so recently lost.
I for one, will snub... unless I have a message on my phone,
and then I'll look at that. Because I can, and THEN I'll snub at will!
